I heard that Jesus is coming to speak at our church this week. For goodness sake can't somebody do something about it? We don't want HIM to come. He might do something embarrassing like turn water into wine, and we don't allow any alcohol at our church. He might actually heal somebody and we don't do that Pentecostal stuff. He might say that God created everything and we have grown out of that mythological nonsense. He might ask us to repent of our sins, and we don't want anyone going from preaching to meddling.
If we allow Jesus to preach in our church, why he might tell us not to be so materialistic and give to the poor. He might claim that he is "God with us" but our pastor teaches that Jesus was just a man like any other man. He might tell us that our leaders do not teach infallible doctrines, and instead of praying to Mary, why he might teach us to pray to Our Father in heaven. And tongues? Why he might not even mention them. He might tell us that we're not spirit filled unless we also repent.
And worst of all? Why Jesus might tell us that he didn't use the King James Bible. No please, let's not have Jesus speak this weekend at church. He just might turn our world upside down.