Teacher: What is the most important command of all?
Evangelical Evie: Don't go dancing or play cards.
Catholic Cathy: The communion bread is Jesus. He said, This is my body.
Pentecostal Penelope: Tongues is the thang to show others that you’ve been filled.
Orthodox Orville: You gotta do the ancient thing. Modern stuff is unorthodox.
Fundamentalist Firfie: You gotta obey all the rules made by the elders.
Methodist Metcalf: Don't touch a drop of that demon alcohol or you're bound for hell.
Baptist Babette: You gotta be immersed. If you ain't dunked, you ain't really baptized.
Anglican Angus: Apostolic succession is the key. You've got to have the lineage.
Teacher: What if I told you that love was the real deal?
Class: Love???????????? What liberal Commie pinko said that?
Teacher: Jesus. (Matthew 22:34-46)